Women...don't be THAT woman. That woman who won't let go of her ex even when it's clear this guy is not into you, he's your ex for a reason. You are better than that. You're not with him, and hounding him just makes you look crazy. It makes you look unstable. I get it, you love him, or rather you think you love him.
I've had two instances in my dating life of meeting men, dating them and then a while into their ex somehow finds a way to contact me (one through text and the other through Facebook) to berate me about being with their man. Listen, your man was on a dating site, you're his ex, calling me a fat whore won't solve the problems you have with him. I'm not your punching bag, I value myself way more than you apparently value yourself.
I woke up to a text message from one of these women where she used her ex's phone to berate him (calling him a loser, etc) and calling me names because he was once with me.
Women like that make well-adjusted women look bad to men. You need to place more value on yourself and move on and away from the men that aren't into you.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
I Crossed The Street When I Saw Crazy Coming!
It was a simple comment that started this meeting... "nice pics". It started innocent enough. He was polite, flattering, overall gentle and calm. We chatted through the dating site and then I felt comfortable enough to move the conversation to texting. It didn't take long after that for him to have a total mental melt down. I've saved the texts as a visual reminder of when the crazy appeared...I will skip ahead to the conversation where it gets good. Just some background. I was going to head to the beach (where he lives) and we could meet up and have lunch.
Note: All spelling errors from him are accurate...and it gets worse toward the end, my apologies, it was just as hard for me to transcribe as it was for me to read!
We had been flirting a bit through text but he started to get the impression that we were going to have sex if I met up with him at the beach.
Me: You'd better calm yourself down before tomorrow. lol
Him: No I'm just going to play with myself a bunch of times so I will not be horny.
Me: Yeah, I've had to do that before.
Him: Well I guess I have 2.
Him: We've been flirting so much.
Me: Ha! Yeah I guess we have.
Him: It's hard on a guy.
(An alarm went off in my head with that response as to me it says something about him possibly having a hard time controlling himself)
Me: I will stop.
Him: Oh well I'm a man I'll deal with it like a man hey very respectful man.
Him: Yeah that's a good idea because I desire you a lot now.
Me: No problem.So talk to me about your plans for the future. (sincerely trying to change the subject and eliminate flirting)
Him: :(
Me: Focus on something else, pretend you're just someone I met on the street.
Him: Ok I don't know about my future right now, um I don't know where I'm going I'm just getting over losing a family business.
Him: 1 second I'm going to play with myself. I'm in a bad mood I just want to try to feel better. Good night I hope you sleep good. It feels like you just kind of left me hanging. :(
Me: Sorry I dozed off.
Him: Make sure you call me tomorrow before you take off over here please. (Um this seemed a smidge intrusive - I don't answer to anyone. I leave when I want, I don't have to call anyone.)
The conversation above lasted until almost 2 am, I was long since asleep when he sent that final comment. At this point I had no red flags appearing, only pink ones. (Pink flags are ones that I collect in my head and evaluate later when I have more information.)
When I woke up the next morning my response to his last comment was:
Me: Lol ok. I don't plan to leave until 10 or 11 am.
Him: I woke up here I'm just sitting here hard as a rock. lol (Ugh)
Me: lol
Him: Good thing I got manners. I would have sent you a picture and said good morning.
Me: You're going to be one track focused today aren't you?
Him: You don't have to worry about that cause I'm going to take care of that.
Me: Lol
Him: Because if I feel like this I'm not going to be around you. I bet you don't think that's funny. (I still have no clue what the fuck this even means!)
Me: If you feel you aren't going to be able to control yourself then it's probably best.
Note: At this point is where I can reflect back and say the wheels were coming off the bus.
Him: I can totally control myself you have been flirting with me and I've been flirting with you. I'm sorry ok I'm very sorry I just it's a weird feeling Kind of like being rejected. I never was gonna hold you to anything but you just stop everything. We could just plan it for another day but I'm very very upset.
Note: I'd like to refer back to where he said 'Yeah that's a good idea' to my comment of stopping the flirting. Did he not remember we'd had this conversation?
Me: I'm not sure why you're upset. I say just relax. I have no problem flirting with you but you're responding to me as if sex is all that's going to be on your mind. I don't want to feed into that for you. I'm not tripping about it.
Him: It's in your hands whatever you want to do um I'll be here.
Note: So can anyone else see that his expectation was that we were going to have sex but that now I was having second thoughts? Reading his words again that's the impression I get from him.
Me: Yeah I know. I live by one motto in life. I do what I want.
Him: Know what I really like that model I'm going to start using it to you. (?? I didn't understand his comment and he didn't know how to clearly explain it so there's a little bit off gibberish from him and basically he meant that he was going to start using that motto as well)
.....
Me: Do you worry a lot about what people think of you?
Note: I don't stress about what people think of me. I do what I want, if you want to come along then yeah, if not oh well.
Him: I could care less what people think of me But when I have a girlfriend I want her to think good as me I want her to know the truth of me the other people don't know the truth.
Note: Looking back on this comment now it screams that he may have the need to have someone to 'believe' him. Which tells me he may be less than truthful in general...yeah more to come)
....more gibberish about him caring for people around him and he's hurt or whatever he's saying.
Him: When you decide what you are going to do will you please let me know.
Me: Decide what?
Him: Decide if you will come to the beach today or what you think is best.
Me: Of course I'm coming, I want some clam chowder for lunch.
Him: Ok I'll be here
Him: I'm just going to double up on my medication today and I'll be extra mellow and everything will be cool. (???? - ugh)
Me: What is your medication?
Him: I don't know how to spell it.
Me: What is it for?
Him: Oh and good health me feel real good. And then I don't think it was upsetting me. (Dafuq?)
Me: Ok. Why are you feeling rejected?
He said it was because I stopped flirting and would now change the subject but he sent it to me via voice message and not text.
Me: The reason I change the subject is you told me that the flirting was charging you up. Aside from that anyone I'm in a relationship with I have to know that I can have a conversation with them without flirting.
Him: You're perfectly safe with me now because I am totally turned off and I didn't come 1 time since last night. (....no words to...safe? really?)
Me: Let's just chill. It's just meeting a new person.
.....
Him: (included in this message was a picture of his erect junk - thankfully with pants on) Amanda it got hard again.
Me: lol I didn't say anything to flirt with you
Him: Sorry I should have kept it to myself (...and commence MELTDOWN)
Me: lol ok
Him: Ill tex I later :(
Me: Huh?
Him: I apologize and u Tex BK Ok lol. I just can't believe that you really think it's funny. I'll text you in a little bit I'm gonna go hand out at a friends house.
Me: I'm laughing at why you think it's necessary to apologize. You seem to be stressing out over tiny little things. You go enjoy your day. I'm going to put gas in my car and head to the coast for clam chowder. If you can break yourself from whatever mood you're in let me know.
.... Here it comes...
Him: You know what whatever because you know what you tease the hell out of me. So whatever happens at this point I don't give a shit.
Me: Yeah Ok. So you probably need to work out some issues. Lets just call it that and you have a fabulous day.
Him: The only issues I have are with you. You really hurt my feelings because you turn me on for 3 days (it's only been 2) you made me feel really wanted I didn't need this with all the other stuff I have going on in my life. Now I'm really now I'm relly up set because you think I have issues I have to go workout. If it makes you feel better to believe that that's on you. But you've lived the last 3 days (again, only 2) with me you know what's been going on you know in your heart the truth. U really hurt my feelings. That's fine do not text me back okay then shut my phone off for the whole dating that's why you're going to be (????? Um...hello, mental health line...)
Me: You need to get over whatever the hell you're talking about. Just because I may flirt with you doesn't mean we're dating or I owe you anything. Just reading your text messages I can see you're having a meltdown. It's ok just go have a peaceful day. I don't do passive aggressive relationships of any kind. And because I don't text you back immediately is none of your business. I'm busy at the moment.
Him: Are tell me we are done (Is the grammar and spelling getting on anyone else's nerves?)
Me: There never was a 'we'. We barely started talking 2 days ago. This is why I stopped flirting with you so much. You're way too far into something that's not there. You don't know me, I don't know you.
Him: (another voice message...blah blah blah.)
Him: I'm really really sorry do you forgive me (anyone picking up bi-polar at this point?)
Him: (another voice message...blah sorry blah)
Me: There's nothing to forgive just let it go.
Him: Do you want to come and have lunch in that's it as friends.
Me: I don't think so. You've had two mood swings just based on your text messages and it's not something I necessarily want to be around.
Him: Ok I understand. Take care :(
..... a bit later...
Him: You have no idea what a good person I am loving and caring. I'll be waiting for your texts so we can eat lunch come eat lunch with me it's in a public spot. (This is a very worrisome comment!)
Me: I'm sure you are. You need to relax. I'm going to be driving and I'm not going to text you while I'm driving.
Him: Ok my phone will be charging it's done (yeah..I know)
(yeah...meltdown again coming in 3, 2, 1...)
Now at this time I'd already made it to my destination. I already know that I am NEVER going to meet this clown in person. I'm going to get my clam chowder and get the fuck away from anywhere he could see me. So picture this I'm standing in line at the restaurant. It's a popular place so the line goes around the outside of the building. I'm on high alert looking for him. I've got myself covered up in a hoodie sweatshirt, sunglasses and a hat. I look nothing like any picture I have online. I do however know what he looks like. I'm nearing the entry to the building and I spot him across the street. He didn't see me. He was looking around though. I immediately text my friend (the one I tell everything to) just so in case something did happen she'd have all the details too. I made it into the restaurant and even gave them my middle name so they didn't shout my real name over the loud speaker in case he was getting nearer to the building.
As soon as I scooped up my order I got ready to leave. I pulled my hood over my head to make it less obvious what I looked like and I headed out. I started walking up the street to my car and something made me cross the street in the middle and not at the cross walk like I normally would. And sure enough as soon as I got to the other side of the street I noticed he was walking down the side of the street I just left. I just ducked my head, weaved in and out of the people walking down the street and high tailed it back to my car and I was out of there!! ....And then his texts came, and they turned into a tirade...
Him: You could at least tell me if you're coming or not I've been worried about you. It is out of my hand now you're an independent woman. You get flat tire in 3 punks pull over to help lets. See how independent u are. You could have said fuck you I'm not going there. And then I would know you're okay. I'm hungry and I even been waiting to eat with you.
....I finished my lunch and my relaxing time on the beach before I responded.
Me: I'm fine. Thank you for your concern. I already picked up my chowder and left.
... more melting down...
Him: Thanks for texting me back. That was very rude. I never thought you would do that. Just plan on being single the rest you like it no guys going to put up with that shit. Or maybe you're a dike. I hope you feel good adout what u did. Because I'm putting your phone number online for guys to be calling you. Lol. You fucked me over real good and I don't forget. Lol I know your first and last name and your town. I will meet you face to face and tell you what a piece of shit you are. God dam that hurt my feels. What made u do that Why You can even tell me that I'm a piece of shit or something in that you don't want nothing to do with me I'm going to feel like shit for days and you don't even care
Note: In this time he also left me two voice mails where he wondered why I couldn't just break it off with him 'professionally'.
Approximately one hour later....
Him: I know you don't give a shit. But Juliana go tot he hotel room and I feel much better now so you don't have to worry about me (this was sent with a picture of him with some woman - and now I'm really curious as to why he has a hotel room when he told me he was living with his sister LOL)
I'm totally laughing at this point because his melt down is totally overly dramatic and delusional.
And finally...
Him: Hope u made it home. B honest you have mental problems. You or tell me okay when this is why that what you know what I don't need it. ( No clue what this says or means)
Him: You're so weak you can even talk to me and towel he it just didn't work out this is yet but you know what I don't need that.
Thankfully my phone has been quiet today. I dodged a huge issue with this freak fest by NOT meeting with him. Good gravy!!!
Note: All spelling errors from him are accurate...and it gets worse toward the end, my apologies, it was just as hard for me to transcribe as it was for me to read!
We had been flirting a bit through text but he started to get the impression that we were going to have sex if I met up with him at the beach.
Me: You'd better calm yourself down before tomorrow. lol
Him: No I'm just going to play with myself a bunch of times so I will not be horny.
Me: Yeah, I've had to do that before.
Him: Well I guess I have 2.
Him: We've been flirting so much.
Me: Ha! Yeah I guess we have.
Him: It's hard on a guy.
(An alarm went off in my head with that response as to me it says something about him possibly having a hard time controlling himself)
Me: I will stop.
Him: Oh well I'm a man I'll deal with it like a man hey very respectful man.
Him: Yeah that's a good idea because I desire you a lot now.
Me: No problem.So talk to me about your plans for the future. (sincerely trying to change the subject and eliminate flirting)
Him: :(
Me: Focus on something else, pretend you're just someone I met on the street.
Him: Ok I don't know about my future right now, um I don't know where I'm going I'm just getting over losing a family business.
Him: 1 second I'm going to play with myself. I'm in a bad mood I just want to try to feel better. Good night I hope you sleep good. It feels like you just kind of left me hanging. :(
Me: Sorry I dozed off.
Him: Make sure you call me tomorrow before you take off over here please. (Um this seemed a smidge intrusive - I don't answer to anyone. I leave when I want, I don't have to call anyone.)
The conversation above lasted until almost 2 am, I was long since asleep when he sent that final comment. At this point I had no red flags appearing, only pink ones. (Pink flags are ones that I collect in my head and evaluate later when I have more information.)
When I woke up the next morning my response to his last comment was:
Me: Lol ok. I don't plan to leave until 10 or 11 am.
Him: I woke up here I'm just sitting here hard as a rock. lol (Ugh)
Me: lol
Him: Good thing I got manners. I would have sent you a picture and said good morning.
Me: You're going to be one track focused today aren't you?
Him: You don't have to worry about that cause I'm going to take care of that.
Me: Lol
Him: Because if I feel like this I'm not going to be around you. I bet you don't think that's funny. (I still have no clue what the fuck this even means!)
Me: If you feel you aren't going to be able to control yourself then it's probably best.
Note: At this point is where I can reflect back and say the wheels were coming off the bus.
Him: I can totally control myself you have been flirting with me and I've been flirting with you. I'm sorry ok I'm very sorry I just it's a weird feeling Kind of like being rejected. I never was gonna hold you to anything but you just stop everything. We could just plan it for another day but I'm very very upset.
Note: I'd like to refer back to where he said 'Yeah that's a good idea' to my comment of stopping the flirting. Did he not remember we'd had this conversation?
Me: I'm not sure why you're upset. I say just relax. I have no problem flirting with you but you're responding to me as if sex is all that's going to be on your mind. I don't want to feed into that for you. I'm not tripping about it.
Him: It's in your hands whatever you want to do um I'll be here.
Note: So can anyone else see that his expectation was that we were going to have sex but that now I was having second thoughts? Reading his words again that's the impression I get from him.
Me: Yeah I know. I live by one motto in life. I do what I want.
Him: Know what I really like that model I'm going to start using it to you. (?? I didn't understand his comment and he didn't know how to clearly explain it so there's a little bit off gibberish from him and basically he meant that he was going to start using that motto as well)
.....
Me: Do you worry a lot about what people think of you?
Note: I don't stress about what people think of me. I do what I want, if you want to come along then yeah, if not oh well.
Him: I could care less what people think of me But when I have a girlfriend I want her to think good as me I want her to know the truth of me the other people don't know the truth.
Note: Looking back on this comment now it screams that he may have the need to have someone to 'believe' him. Which tells me he may be less than truthful in general...yeah more to come)
....more gibberish about him caring for people around him and he's hurt or whatever he's saying.
Him: When you decide what you are going to do will you please let me know.
Me: Decide what?
Him: Decide if you will come to the beach today or what you think is best.
Me: Of course I'm coming, I want some clam chowder for lunch.
Him: Ok I'll be here
Him: I'm just going to double up on my medication today and I'll be extra mellow and everything will be cool. (???? - ugh)
Me: What is your medication?
Him: I don't know how to spell it.
Me: What is it for?
Him: Oh and good health me feel real good. And then I don't think it was upsetting me. (Dafuq?)
Me: Ok. Why are you feeling rejected?
He said it was because I stopped flirting and would now change the subject but he sent it to me via voice message and not text.
Me: The reason I change the subject is you told me that the flirting was charging you up. Aside from that anyone I'm in a relationship with I have to know that I can have a conversation with them without flirting.
Him: You're perfectly safe with me now because I am totally turned off and I didn't come 1 time since last night. (....no words to...safe? really?)
Me: Let's just chill. It's just meeting a new person.
.....
Him: (included in this message was a picture of his erect junk - thankfully with pants on) Amanda it got hard again.
Me: lol I didn't say anything to flirt with you
Him: Sorry I should have kept it to myself (...and commence MELTDOWN)
Me: lol ok
Him: Ill tex I later :(
Me: Huh?
Him: I apologize and u Tex BK Ok lol. I just can't believe that you really think it's funny. I'll text you in a little bit I'm gonna go hand out at a friends house.
Me: I'm laughing at why you think it's necessary to apologize. You seem to be stressing out over tiny little things. You go enjoy your day. I'm going to put gas in my car and head to the coast for clam chowder. If you can break yourself from whatever mood you're in let me know.
.... Here it comes...
Him: You know what whatever because you know what you tease the hell out of me. So whatever happens at this point I don't give a shit.
Me: Yeah Ok. So you probably need to work out some issues. Lets just call it that and you have a fabulous day.
Him: The only issues I have are with you. You really hurt my feelings because you turn me on for 3 days (it's only been 2) you made me feel really wanted I didn't need this with all the other stuff I have going on in my life. Now I'm really now I'm relly up set because you think I have issues I have to go workout. If it makes you feel better to believe that that's on you. But you've lived the last 3 days (again, only 2) with me you know what's been going on you know in your heart the truth. U really hurt my feelings. That's fine do not text me back okay then shut my phone off for the whole dating that's why you're going to be (????? Um...hello, mental health line...)
Me: You need to get over whatever the hell you're talking about. Just because I may flirt with you doesn't mean we're dating or I owe you anything. Just reading your text messages I can see you're having a meltdown. It's ok just go have a peaceful day. I don't do passive aggressive relationships of any kind. And because I don't text you back immediately is none of your business. I'm busy at the moment.
Him: Are tell me we are done (Is the grammar and spelling getting on anyone else's nerves?)
Me: There never was a 'we'. We barely started talking 2 days ago. This is why I stopped flirting with you so much. You're way too far into something that's not there. You don't know me, I don't know you.
Him: (another voice message...blah blah blah.)
Him: I'm really really sorry do you forgive me (anyone picking up bi-polar at this point?)
Him: (another voice message...blah sorry blah)
Me: There's nothing to forgive just let it go.
Him: Do you want to come and have lunch in that's it as friends.
Me: I don't think so. You've had two mood swings just based on your text messages and it's not something I necessarily want to be around.
Him: Ok I understand. Take care :(
..... a bit later...
Him: You have no idea what a good person I am loving and caring. I'll be waiting for your texts so we can eat lunch come eat lunch with me it's in a public spot. (This is a very worrisome comment!)
Me: I'm sure you are. You need to relax. I'm going to be driving and I'm not going to text you while I'm driving.
Him: Ok my phone will be charging it's done (yeah..I know)
(yeah...meltdown again coming in 3, 2, 1...)
Now at this time I'd already made it to my destination. I already know that I am NEVER going to meet this clown in person. I'm going to get my clam chowder and get the fuck away from anywhere he could see me. So picture this I'm standing in line at the restaurant. It's a popular place so the line goes around the outside of the building. I'm on high alert looking for him. I've got myself covered up in a hoodie sweatshirt, sunglasses and a hat. I look nothing like any picture I have online. I do however know what he looks like. I'm nearing the entry to the building and I spot him across the street. He didn't see me. He was looking around though. I immediately text my friend (the one I tell everything to) just so in case something did happen she'd have all the details too. I made it into the restaurant and even gave them my middle name so they didn't shout my real name over the loud speaker in case he was getting nearer to the building.
As soon as I scooped up my order I got ready to leave. I pulled my hood over my head to make it less obvious what I looked like and I headed out. I started walking up the street to my car and something made me cross the street in the middle and not at the cross walk like I normally would. And sure enough as soon as I got to the other side of the street I noticed he was walking down the side of the street I just left. I just ducked my head, weaved in and out of the people walking down the street and high tailed it back to my car and I was out of there!! ....And then his texts came, and they turned into a tirade...
Him: You could at least tell me if you're coming or not I've been worried about you. It is out of my hand now you're an independent woman. You get flat tire in 3 punks pull over to help lets. See how independent u are. You could have said fuck you I'm not going there. And then I would know you're okay. I'm hungry and I even been waiting to eat with you.
....I finished my lunch and my relaxing time on the beach before I responded.
Me: I'm fine. Thank you for your concern. I already picked up my chowder and left.
... more melting down...
Him: Thanks for texting me back. That was very rude. I never thought you would do that. Just plan on being single the rest you like it no guys going to put up with that shit. Or maybe you're a dike. I hope you feel good adout what u did. Because I'm putting your phone number online for guys to be calling you. Lol. You fucked me over real good and I don't forget. Lol I know your first and last name and your town. I will meet you face to face and tell you what a piece of shit you are. God dam that hurt my feels. What made u do that Why You can even tell me that I'm a piece of shit or something in that you don't want nothing to do with me I'm going to feel like shit for days and you don't even care
Note: In this time he also left me two voice mails where he wondered why I couldn't just break it off with him 'professionally'.
Approximately one hour later....
Him: I know you don't give a shit. But Juliana go tot he hotel room and I feel much better now so you don't have to worry about me (this was sent with a picture of him with some woman - and now I'm really curious as to why he has a hotel room when he told me he was living with his sister LOL)
I'm totally laughing at this point because his melt down is totally overly dramatic and delusional.
And finally...
Him: Hope u made it home. B honest you have mental problems. You or tell me okay when this is why that what you know what I don't need it. ( No clue what this says or means)
Him: You're so weak you can even talk to me and towel he it just didn't work out this is yet but you know what I don't need that.
Thankfully my phone has been quiet today. I dodged a huge issue with this freak fest by NOT meeting with him. Good gravy!!!
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Consistently consistent
Perhaps I should be thrilled that my 'rack' is loved? Perhaps, except he's making the same comment on the same picture. Where is the originality? At first sure it was funny, not charming, not appealing, but somewhat funny.
Is that the best that I should expect? Are my expectations too high?
Is that the best that I should expect? Are my expectations too high?
Monday, December 31, 2012
The 4th Date
The following is a guest posting by { Sabine }.
After one good lunch date and two great dinner dates with a guy I agreed to a movie night over at his place.
The night started out right. He let me pick out the movie, made sure I was comfortable and was nothing but sweet and considerate. As soon as we settled in and started the movie his phone rang. It was his ex calling and he said it was about time to say goodnight to his son, no problem. He took the call and came back a few minutes later. I asked how his son was and before he could answer his phone went off again. It was his ex. Her picture and name showed up on his phone, he didn't try to hide it or anything, hit decline and we went on watching the movie. Then it rang again, and again, and again. He excused himself and took the next call in the kitchen. Roughly 5 minutes later he came back and said "sorry, hopefully she won't call back". I say "no problem, do you need to turn your phone off?", just a tad bit annoyed at this point. He says no and we continue to watch the movie.
Within 2 minutes his phone goes off again. He hits decline several more times then decides to take one of the incessant calls and gives me the shush sign. I hear her yelling, can't make out what she is saying but he keeps repeating "who would be over here?, why would you even say that?". I look at him like he has just lost his mind, get up and use the restroom. When I get back he doesn't get a second to try and apologize before the phone rings again. He answers his phone and says "hold on a sec" to the "ex" that was calling yet again and turned to me to say "can you grab your purse and coat and go in the kitchen? She just Facetimed me, I am going to show her the room, she doesn't believe I am alone". Now, I would love to say I said "sure, no problem" with a big smile on my face and then said quite loudly "when are you coming back to bed baby" as I walked out the door and he continued his call...but the reality is I had a dumbfounded look on my face, said nothing, grabbed my things off the chair next to the couch and walked through the kitchen and out the side door. I got into my car and drove home trying to figure out WTF just happened.
Yes, he called a few minutes later and sent texts asking where I went...decline, decline. Ignore, Ignore.
{Sabine}
After one good lunch date and two great dinner dates with a guy I agreed to a movie night over at his place.
The night started out right. He let me pick out the movie, made sure I was comfortable and was nothing but sweet and considerate. As soon as we settled in and started the movie his phone rang. It was his ex calling and he said it was about time to say goodnight to his son, no problem. He took the call and came back a few minutes later. I asked how his son was and before he could answer his phone went off again. It was his ex. Her picture and name showed up on his phone, he didn't try to hide it or anything, hit decline and we went on watching the movie. Then it rang again, and again, and again. He excused himself and took the next call in the kitchen. Roughly 5 minutes later he came back and said "sorry, hopefully she won't call back". I say "no problem, do you need to turn your phone off?", just a tad bit annoyed at this point. He says no and we continue to watch the movie.
Within 2 minutes his phone goes off again. He hits decline several more times then decides to take one of the incessant calls and gives me the shush sign. I hear her yelling, can't make out what she is saying but he keeps repeating "who would be over here?, why would you even say that?". I look at him like he has just lost his mind, get up and use the restroom. When I get back he doesn't get a second to try and apologize before the phone rings again. He answers his phone and says "hold on a sec" to the "ex" that was calling yet again and turned to me to say "can you grab your purse and coat and go in the kitchen? She just Facetimed me, I am going to show her the room, she doesn't believe I am alone". Now, I would love to say I said "sure, no problem" with a big smile on my face and then said quite loudly "when are you coming back to bed baby" as I walked out the door and he continued his call...but the reality is I had a dumbfounded look on my face, said nothing, grabbed my things off the chair next to the couch and walked through the kitchen and out the side door. I got into my car and drove home trying to figure out WTF just happened.
Yes, he called a few minutes later and sent texts asking where I went...decline, decline. Ignore, Ignore.
{Sabine}
Monday, November 5, 2012
I'm bored so you must call me!
Verbatim conversation from tonight:
Him: Hello
Me: Hello there
Him: How are you tonight
Me: Quite well. How are you?
Him: Great thanks
Me: :)
Him: Wat r you up to tonight
Me: Well, it's kind of late so I'm in bed watching TV. You?
Him: same. Bored. I live in Visalia too.
Me: Yeah I really like it here.
Him: I am bored
Me: Ok
Him: Call me 559 xxx-xxxx
Me: Thank you but no
Him: Fine be bored
Really? This is the absolute first time I've ever said anything to this person and in less than 5 minutes he's giving me his number to call him?? Lunacy!
And what's with the 'fine be bored' crap?!
Him: Hello
Me: Hello there
Him: How are you tonight
Me: Quite well. How are you?
Him: Great thanks
Me: :)
Him: Wat r you up to tonight
Me: Well, it's kind of late so I'm in bed watching TV. You?
Him: same. Bored. I live in Visalia too.
Me: Yeah I really like it here.
Him: I am bored
Me: Ok
Him: Call me 559 xxx-xxxx
Me: Thank you but no
Him: Fine be bored
Really? This is the absolute first time I've ever said anything to this person and in less than 5 minutes he's giving me his number to call him?? Lunacy!
And what's with the 'fine be bored' crap?!
Monday, October 29, 2012
Totally based on feedback...
I've been seeing comments about always finding the worst men and that I sound like I hate men. I wanted to say I hear what you're saying and I think a bit more information is in order to show the entire picture.
I do not hate men. What I hate is lazy, obnoxious, arrogant or lame jerks. Those are the ones I choose to profile on this blog because it's way more interesting than the calm quiet times I have with someone funny at Applebee's (yes, that actually happened and I had a marvelous time and I still enjoy this person today). I love men. I enjoy the conversations I've had, any intimate contact I've had. I've learned a lot about being a woman, about being an adult, about being a friend, about being sexual from some really fantastic men.
I've been able to learn so much about myself in the past 5 years of being single all thanks to my own determination and some amazing guys I've met along the way. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm thriving in my 30s because of it.
With that said, I do come across men that need serious help in life, love and overall as a human. Granted I never once thought my blog would be able to help these men directly but I kind of felt if I got that vibe into the universe it would eventually trickle to those that need it the most. So while they come off has really bad folks, they really just need help and this is the only way I can think of to get them the help they need. Really altruistic right? At the base of the blog, that's what I hope for, but of course my sarcasm takes over and I really just let it out there!
So that's it for tonight, I just wanted to make sure people knew that yes, I've met some incredible men and yes I love men. I just profile the looniest of the ones I come across.
I do not hate men. What I hate is lazy, obnoxious, arrogant or lame jerks. Those are the ones I choose to profile on this blog because it's way more interesting than the calm quiet times I have with someone funny at Applebee's (yes, that actually happened and I had a marvelous time and I still enjoy this person today). I love men. I enjoy the conversations I've had, any intimate contact I've had. I've learned a lot about being a woman, about being an adult, about being a friend, about being sexual from some really fantastic men.
I've been able to learn so much about myself in the past 5 years of being single all thanks to my own determination and some amazing guys I've met along the way. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm thriving in my 30s because of it.
With that said, I do come across men that need serious help in life, love and overall as a human. Granted I never once thought my blog would be able to help these men directly but I kind of felt if I got that vibe into the universe it would eventually trickle to those that need it the most. So while they come off has really bad folks, they really just need help and this is the only way I can think of to get them the help they need. Really altruistic right? At the base of the blog, that's what I hope for, but of course my sarcasm takes over and I really just let it out there!
So that's it for tonight, I just wanted to make sure people knew that yes, I've met some incredible men and yes I love men. I just profile the looniest of the ones I come across.
Get YOUR life in order BEFORE you try to engage MY life!
Recently I've met a few interesting people through my online dating escapades. (Escapades? Not sure why I chose that term, it makes me feel as though I should have on ice skates!)
Two of the people I've met had common threads -- multiple children and a crazy ex! I do not have a problem dating someone that has kids as long as they're a responsible parent that has focus on their kids. I actually quite like that. I don't even mind if their ex is crazy. It starts to derail when your ex still plays an active role in your life in a capacity unrelated to the children you share.
Case in point: I recently started talking to someone that seemed interesting in the beginning but the more I talked to him the more I could see the impending doom from his ex.
I got a text from him that said "Did you talk to my ex today?" ...after literally laughing out loud, I replied with, why the hell would I? He asked me if I got phone calls from an Unknown or Blocked number. Well yes I did, 4 of them, back to back earlier in the day. He proceeded to tell me that his ex broke into his house, got his phone and started interrogating him about who he was talking to, his online dating profile, she got my number and then started calling him and harassing him at work. And there you have it...she's CRAZY and she's got too much involvement in his life.
After he told me about all this drama, he asked when we'd be able to meet. *Do What Now?* I told him that I wasn't about to give him any other identifiers that his ex could possibly get her mitts on! The last thing I need is some loony chick breaking into my house or coming near my child.
Thankfully he understood where I was coming from on this topic because he actually told me he was going to cut off conversation with me so that she wouldn't be able to get near me.
Clearly the lesson is, if your ex is crazy and all up in your life then you're not actually free to be with other people. Get your shit in order before you involve other folks!
Two of the people I've met had common threads -- multiple children and a crazy ex! I do not have a problem dating someone that has kids as long as they're a responsible parent that has focus on their kids. I actually quite like that. I don't even mind if their ex is crazy. It starts to derail when your ex still plays an active role in your life in a capacity unrelated to the children you share.
Case in point: I recently started talking to someone that seemed interesting in the beginning but the more I talked to him the more I could see the impending doom from his ex.
- He was very insecure in conversation and stated that his ex used to hit him and tell him he was worthless. I can be a very motivating person but I don't think I'm capable of rebuilding the self esteem of a grown man. He also has severe self esteem issues when it comes to his appearance. If you can't see it in yourself then it's not likely someone else will be able to see it for you!
- He said that his ex was a "crack whore". Yes, those are his exact words. He told me that he has 3 children and the youngest was 9 months old. He said that she had the baby after they separated and that it was likely a child by her drug dealer. I know what you're thinking, Amanda this is a MASSIVE red flag and you should have ran at that moment. Here is my logic...I thought well perhaps he's just taking total responsibility for keeping all of the siblings together and since she has no parental control it's OK because she can't be bothersome! See...that's extremely logical!
I got a text from him that said "Did you talk to my ex today?" ...after literally laughing out loud, I replied with, why the hell would I? He asked me if I got phone calls from an Unknown or Blocked number. Well yes I did, 4 of them, back to back earlier in the day. He proceeded to tell me that his ex broke into his house, got his phone and started interrogating him about who he was talking to, his online dating profile, she got my number and then started calling him and harassing him at work. And there you have it...she's CRAZY and she's got too much involvement in his life.
After he told me about all this drama, he asked when we'd be able to meet. *Do What Now?* I told him that I wasn't about to give him any other identifiers that his ex could possibly get her mitts on! The last thing I need is some loony chick breaking into my house or coming near my child.
Thankfully he understood where I was coming from on this topic because he actually told me he was going to cut off conversation with me so that she wouldn't be able to get near me.
Clearly the lesson is, if your ex is crazy and all up in your life then you're not actually free to be with other people. Get your shit in order before you involve other folks!
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