First Date Nightmares...

I am sure that practically everyone out there has had a first date at some point in their life. I'm looking for people to share their first date nightmares. I will start with my own.

I met someone online (of course) and everything about him screamed that he was a sad person. His profile was so depressing, but talking to him it was quite obvious that he was quite the opposite. So I went to his house to pick him up for the date. Ordinarily you'd think that would be part of the nightmare, but I am a woman of the 21st century, to me there's no rules about that sort of thing. The nightmare began when I showed up on his doorstep... allow me to paint this picture:
His jeans were dirty, dark denim and they were way too long for him so the edges were tattered around his feet due to him dragging them on the ground when he walked. He had no shoes on. His shirt was dirty. He was sweating profusely. There was an overflowing ashtray at the doorstep. (It belonged to his mother!) There was an overwhelming stench coming from inside the house...the overwhelming smell of urine! As I stepped into the house (don't ask me why) he said to me, watch out there's bananas smashed into the carpet. The house was totally dark except for the TV so I couldn't see a banana if I tried. Let's just say I lied through my damn teeth, turned around and walked out! Good times!

So now it's your turn...share your nightmares! If you care to remain anonymous feel free to message me your story and I will share it for you.

Enjoy!

See that line right there...you just crossed it!

The following is the evolution of a conversation I had this morning with, I guess, a potential suitor. Well, at the time it was potential but it soured really quickly. And really thinking back on the conversation, 'potential' was used generously. What I have also been able to confirm is that being direct with someone really is the ONLY way to go...beating around the bush is ridiculous!

Here is the back ground... I have an app on my phone that makes my status on the site appear that I am 'online' even if I am not.

The conversation was as follows (verbatim):

Him: Hello..why you up so late..Rxxxxx (12:07 am)
Me: Nope not up late...the app on my phone was the one awake. :) (8:27 am)

• Allow me to interject here with this - I try not to be rude to anyone that would take the time and energy to say hello...except for those occasions where they are beyond offensive to my senses!

Him: Well good morning to you...its not so bad here today is it...I'm Rxxxxx
Me: Good morning...nope not bad at all. I'm Amanda. Where are you located?

• I asked this of him because his profile says he's in Oregon. He's way too far away from me.

Him: I'm here in Fresno loading for now...then I take this juice to Fontana and straight back k up here...my phone services are from Oregon but I spend a majority of my time here in California...glad to meet you Amanda.

• So now I have basically already concluded that this will be going no further. I am not looking to find someone that isn't local. I don't want a once a week/month kind of relationship.

Me: Nice to meet you as well. It's nice in the morning but it's going to get hot later. Oregon is beautiful.

•  See...I'm already being too damn nice! I should have nipped this one in the bud but nooooo I'm accommodating this conversation way beyond where it should go!

Him: I got tired of living and being alone so I give up my apartment and decided to do this...can't tell you how many times I've spent days in Visalia at the target...I'm sure you know where that is

•  First, I am assuming he meant that he was tired of living alone and not just that he was tired of living! Also, creepy to think that the next time I go to Target this guy could be there spending his days!

 Me: Yep. I do. Visalia isn't that big.
Him: No it's not...you still single on this site...

• The conversation changes are coming too quickly for me...it's starting to get on my nerves!

Me: I am. Do you run across many women on here that aren't single? (ugh! why do I encourage conversation?)
Him: I don't get many looking at my profile...i always have to Search nd notify...and haven't met any but I'm sure there are some that like men as well aren't so up front and honest...and bye the way I'll be headed back that way...are you a coffee drinker

• Hello...non sequitur anyone? And...thanks for the warning that you're 'headed back that way'! I'll be sure to avoid Target!

Me: (time to break it down now!) I do drink coffee, typically only in the morning. I get a lot looking at my profile just none really meeting my needs. It's ok though, I just keep looking.

•  Personally I think that was obvious enough to say and you aren't one of those that met my needs move on...but noooooo! He's about to enlighten me!

Him: Needs are what...people have to understand looking and searching is always going to be hard if they are too set in their ways...I drive a truck but I'm not part of the stereo typing that I get a lot of.

• Allow me to translate... I believe he's saying if you're too set in your ways you're going to have a hard time finding someone new. And I think he's saying that people have stereotypes about truck drivers but that's not him.

Me: (now I'm a bit more irked because I don't like being told what I do and don't want/need etc - I know me better than anyone else!) I'm ok with my needs. My daughter is my first priority so if someone doesn't meed a certain standard they can't be brought into my life. It's really that simple. (i.e. Fuck you and fuck off!)
Him: That's the way its suppose to be...i have boys...have to accept the kids more then the woman lol...

• I don't fucking know what his response means!

Me: Makes sense :) (yeah so that was a lie, but really me saying Shut the fuck up would just be rude!)
Him: (and begin creepy now...)I see you live in an apartment...at least from the pictures...what you doing today...let me guess shopping and anything but working...lol

• How do you spell it...C R E E P Y!!!
• The line about shopping made me want to choke the fucking life out of him. What kind of prick asshole says something so condescending like that?? AND to use poor grammar to do so!!

Me: I don't live in an apartment and I am working today.
Him: Sorry they look like apartments...I was trying to be observative...which a lady should like..its being taken notice of... lol

• Listen...I can only tolerate so much chauvinism. I am unable at this point to tell if his intent is to sound like a total fucking douche or if he's just an oblivious little man when it comes to women. I should be thrilled that he was observative about where he thinks I live? I suppose that if he just showed up at my door I should welcome him in too because well he did take time out of his days at Target to visit me.

Me: Those are apartments they're just across the street, not mine. (Hello - it's obvious in the pictures that there's a road in between me and the apartments!)
Him: I bet you haven't even looked at my pics...have you...lol (are we playing a game? ugh why didn't I end this conversation before it started!)
Me: I looked at your entire profile. I'm sorry but I have a meeting starting and I have to focus. (only slightly less direct than I should have been at the get go!)
Him: OK...have fun...if your interested chat back when you have time...be good and always smile (fuck off!)
Him: Would you like my number (fuck no!)
Me: No, but thank you.

And END SCENE!

Are you serious with your craziness? Note to self...when you see crazy coming, cut that shit off immediately!

So, now I'm racist?

I'm not 100% sure how that works...I say no thank you and his immediate response is to label it because of his skin color.

Conversation is as follows:

Him: Hi my name is XXXXXX I like to get to know you better and take you on a take let me know.
Me: I appreciate the offer but I will have to decline. Thank you.
Him: Whiy (sic) cause I am black

Clearly I did not respond further but come on...that's the go to? No the reason I CHOOSE to decline your offer is that I don't feel we would be a good match. What's my reasoning (not that I EVER need one)? Well let's take a peek at his profile and identify the items in the 'No' column.

No
He's 48. I am not like other women that find much older men attractive. I am not looking to hook up with someone 13 years older than me.
He's a Baptist...it's not the Baptist part, it's the religion part - I'm out!
His horrible grammar, spelling and egregious use of the caps lock in his profile.

1. I LIKE TO TRAVEL AND ENJOY LIFE 2. AND LIKE TO GO FISH AND TO THE MOVIE 3. I LIKE TO LISTEN TO R N B MUSIC AND FIND ME A WIFE 4. I AM EASY TO GET ALONE WITH LIKE TO HAVE FUN TOO 5. MY GOAL IS TO BE HAPPY AND ENJOY LIFE.

I LIKE TO TAKE U TO A NICE DINNER AND TALK AND GO DANCE

The only positive things I got from his profile were that he likes to make lists (regardless that it's a poorly created list) and he wants to be happy & enjoy life. I'm sorry but these positives aren't enough to warrant further attention from me... call me picky but if my mind shuts down while reading a small paragraph about you, there's something between us that just won't work. Seriously though, who can resist "FIND ME A WIFE"? I can!

So no sir, it has nothing to do with you being black, white or alien...it has to do with my inability to intentionally suffer!