Totally based on feedback...

I've been seeing comments about always finding the worst men and that I sound like I hate men. I wanted to say I hear what you're saying and I think a bit more information is in order to show the entire picture.

I do not hate men. What I hate is lazy, obnoxious, arrogant or lame jerks. Those are the ones I choose to profile on this blog because it's way more interesting than the calm quiet times I have with someone funny at Applebee's (yes, that actually happened and I had a marvelous time and I still enjoy this person today). I love men. I enjoy the conversations I've had, any intimate contact I've had. I've learned a lot about being a woman, about being an adult, about being a friend, about being sexual from some really fantastic men.

I've been able to learn so much about myself in the past 5 years of being single all thanks to my own determination and some amazing guys I've met along the way. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm thriving in my 30s because of it.

With that said, I do come across men that need serious help in life, love and overall as a human. Granted I never once thought my blog would be able to help these men directly but I kind of felt if I got that vibe into the universe it would eventually trickle to those that need it the most. So while they come off has really bad folks, they really just need help and this is the only way I can think of to get them the help they need. Really altruistic right? At the base of the blog, that's what I hope for, but of course my sarcasm takes over and I really just let it out there!

So that's it for tonight, I just wanted to make sure people knew that yes, I've met some incredible men and yes I love men. I just profile the looniest of the ones I come across.

Get YOUR life in order BEFORE you try to engage MY life!

Recently I've met a few interesting people through my online dating escapades. (Escapades? Not sure why I chose that term, it makes me feel as though I should have on ice skates!)

Two of the people I've met had common threads -- multiple children and a crazy ex! I do not have a problem dating someone that has kids as long as they're a responsible parent that has focus on their kids. I actually quite like that. I don't even mind if their ex is crazy. It starts to derail when your ex still plays an active role in your life in a capacity unrelated to the children you share.

Case in point: I recently started talking to someone that seemed interesting in the beginning but the more I talked to him the more I could see the impending doom from his ex.

1. He was very insecure in conversation and stated that his ex used to hit him and tell him he was worthless. I can be a very motivating person but I don't think I'm capable of rebuilding the self esteem of a grown man. He also has severe self esteem issues when it comes to his appearance. If you can't see it in yourself then it's not likely someone else will be able to see it for you!
2. He said that his ex was a "crack whore". Yes, those are his exact words. He told me that he has 3 children and the youngest was 9 months old. He said that she had the baby after they separated and that it was likely a child by her drug dealer. I know what you're thinking, Amanda this is a MASSIVE red flag and you should have ran at that moment. Here is my logic...I thought well perhaps he's just taking total responsibility for keeping all of the siblings together and since she has no parental control it's OK because she can't be bothersome! See...that's extremely logical!

OK can you see where this is leading? This next part REALLY triggered the holy hell signal for me.
I got a text from him that said "Did you talk to my ex today?" ...after literally laughing out loud, I replied with, why the hell would I? He asked me if I got phone calls from an Unknown or Blocked number. Well yes I did, 4 of them, back to back earlier in the day. He proceeded to tell me that his ex broke into his house, got his phone and started interrogating him about who he was talking to, his online dating profile, she got my number and then started calling him and harassing him at work. And there you have it...she's CRAZY and she's got too much involvement in his life.

After he told me about all this drama, he asked when we'd be able to meet. *Do What Now?* I told him that I wasn't about to give him any other identifiers that his ex could possibly get her mitts on! The last thing I need is some loony chick breaking into my house or coming near my child.

Thankfully he understood where I was coming from on this topic because he actually told me he was going to cut off conversation with me so that she wouldn't be able to get near me.

Clearly the lesson is, if your ex is crazy and all up in your life then you're not actually free to be with other people. Get your shit in order before you involve other folks!