Get YOUR life in order BEFORE you try to engage MY life!

Recently I've met a few interesting people through my online dating escapades. (Escapades? Not sure why I chose that term, it makes me feel as though I should have on ice skates!)

Two of the people I've met had common threads -- multiple children and a crazy ex! I do not have a problem dating someone that has kids as long as they're a responsible parent that has focus on their kids. I actually quite like that. I don't even mind if their ex is crazy. It starts to derail when your ex still plays an active role in your life in a capacity unrelated to the children you share.

Case in point: I recently started talking to someone that seemed interesting in the beginning but the more I talked to him the more I could see the impending doom from his ex.

1. He was very insecure in conversation and stated that his ex used to hit him and tell him he was worthless. I can be a very motivating person but I don't think I'm capable of rebuilding the self esteem of a grown man. He also has severe self esteem issues when it comes to his appearance. If you can't see it in yourself then it's not likely someone else will be able to see it for you!
2. He said that his ex was a "crack whore". Yes, those are his exact words. He told me that he has 3 children and the youngest was 9 months old. He said that she had the baby after they separated and that it was likely a child by her drug dealer. I know what you're thinking, Amanda this is a MASSIVE red flag and you should have ran at that moment. Here is my logic...I thought well perhaps he's just taking total responsibility for keeping all of the siblings together and since she has no parental control it's OK because she can't be bothersome! See...that's extremely logical!

OK can you see where this is leading? This next part REALLY triggered the holy hell signal for me.
I got a text from him that said "Did you talk to my ex today?" ...after literally laughing out loud, I replied with, why the hell would I? He asked me if I got phone calls from an Unknown or Blocked number. Well yes I did, 4 of them, back to back earlier in the day. He proceeded to tell me that his ex broke into his house, got his phone and started interrogating him about who he was talking to, his online dating profile, she got my number and then started calling him and harassing him at work. And there you have it...she's CRAZY and she's got too much involvement in his life.

After he told me about all this drama, he asked when we'd be able to meet. *Do What Now?* I told him that I wasn't about to give him any other identifiers that his ex could possibly get her mitts on! The last thing I need is some loony chick breaking into my house or coming near my child.

Thankfully he understood where I was coming from on this topic because he actually told me he was going to cut off conversation with me so that she wouldn't be able to get near me.

Clearly the lesson is, if your ex is crazy and all up in your life then you're not actually free to be with other people. Get your shit in order before you involve other folks!

First Date Nightmares...

I am sure that practically everyone out there has had a first date at some point in their life. I'm looking for people to share their first date nightmares. I will start with my own.

I met someone online (of course) and everything about him screamed that he was a sad person. His profile was so depressing, but talking to him it was quite obvious that he was quite the opposite. So I went to his house to pick him up for the date. Ordinarily you'd think that would be part of the nightmare, but I am a woman of the 21st century, to me there's no rules about that sort of thing. The nightmare began when I showed up on his doorstep... allow me to paint this picture:
His jeans were dirty, dark denim and they were way too long for him so the edges were tattered around his feet due to him dragging them on the ground when he walked. He had no shoes on. His shirt was dirty. He was sweating profusely. There was an overflowing ashtray at the doorstep. (It belonged to his mother!) There was an overwhelming stench coming from inside the house...the overwhelming smell of urine! As I stepped into the house (don't ask me why) he said to me, watch out there's bananas smashed into the carpet. The house was totally dark except for the TV so I couldn't see a banana if I tried. Let's just say I lied through my damn teeth, turned around and walked out! Good times!

So now it's your turn...share your nightmares! If you care to remain anonymous feel free to message me your story and I will share it for you.

Enjoy!