The lying liar who lies!

As I write this I am in the midst of ditching this lying liar who lies and below I will tell you why...

So he seems nice enough. Self described as a Southern gentleman, come on who doesn't like a gentleman Southern or not! After nearly two weeks of texting and talking on the phone we finally meet. He ended up leaving his phone at my house one day and I checked his texts (more on why later). What did I come across? Text messages between him and his "ex". The topic of the text messages were sexual, including pictures and plans for hooking up...OH and the text messages happened during the time we were having our own texting conversations and making plans to meet up. Some of the messages with his "ex" even included her questioning him about what he was telling the new women he was meeting about whether he was divorced or not... yeah that's right, he's NOT divorced as he says he is, he's separated and by separated apparently based on these text messages not separated very by very much! In one particular text they had a discussion of her coming over to his house for a hook up (a very graphic description was included)...the day of their planned hook up he told me "the ex is coming over to drop off her dogs so that I can watch them while she's out of town, but she won't be here very long" (the little snippet there at the end is the first red flag that popped up). In addition to the texts with his "ex" he also mentioned her visit with him to his father (stay classy!)

So I thought about what I had read and I was sick to my stomach all morning. Then I asked him a few questions...
Me: when was your divorce finalized? (remember he says he's divorced)
Him: It's not final yet but it will be soon (Lie).

Me: when was the last time you were with your "ex"? (told me he was divorced almost a year ago)
Him: sexually? it's been months (LIE)...

Him: Baby (ugh!) where are all these questions coming from?
Me: Seems odd to me that after 12 years of marriage you're so quick to be done and moved on (he's already told me he loves me *shudder*)
Me:  What I am saying is that if you're with me, then you're not with anyone else.
Him: Baby. I am yours. I am completely and totally yours. I have not and will not be with anyone other than you.  I assume I will recieve the same level of devotion? (WTF? Who says that?) Baby (grr) I was checked out of the marriage for a while now, for the first time in my life, I'm ready to live my life fully (Lying Liar Who LIES!) Baby (internal vomit!) "Just have faith in me that when I show/tell you how you make me feel, that it is genuine. Frivolity and asskissing aren't really things that I value very highly. When I tell you I love you... its because I feel it and I want to say it. If i tell you that I think you are amazingly beautiful, believe it because I would not lie. <3" (LIES LIES LIES)
Me: Because if you lie to me...I won't even bother cutting you, it's just over. I don't go back!
Him: I don't lie. (OBVIOUSLY a lie!)
Me: I have a fabulous BS meter...I can tell when people are lying. (Notice how many fucking times I give this moron a chance to come clean??)
Him:  My integrity is paramount to me! (Fuck You!)

So men, the moral of the story is..don't fucking lie, 9 times out of 10 it's usually worse than what you're lying about!

Back to the part where I was going to explain why I was looking at his phone. He told me 2 things that gave me red flags nearly instantaneously! 1. When he told me the "ex" was coming over he said (unprompted) she's not staying long. (Um?) 2. When he sent me an IM asking me to turn his phone off so it won't "bother me" while I am working because it rings a lot. All sounds so deceptive!

This was a dating fail ....perhaps there will be a win some time soon?